| How often have you met people who say, "I never go to funerals,
they're much to sad." Or attended a funeral and heard people
comment, as they looked at the body, "I've never seen him look
better! The funeral home did such a good job!" Both
situations tell us a lot about how our society deal with the subject
of death.
Some societies, especially rural, non-technological ones, are more
likely to vie death as part of the cycle of life and accept its
inevitability. In such societies family members often die at
home because hospitals and advanced medical services are unavailable,
a situation that was common in the United States until quite
recently. Other societies, such as those in ancient Egypt, were
death-defying. Because they believed death could be conquered, Egyptians
mummified the corpses o their dead and buried them with all the
possessions needed in the afterlife.
Some societies are death-denying. The United States society
of today is an excellent example. We refuse to recognize death
as a natural part of the cycled of life - something that is going to
happen to us and to those we love. We show our denial by
isolating our dying in institutions, hooking them up to machines, and
spending a large percentage of our health care dollars only to briefly
postpone death. After our loved ones die, we cover faces with
makeup, stitch smiles onto their faces, and plump their cheeks with
cotton so they look "as good as new". We pump there
corpses full of embalming fluid and bury them in expensive caskets,
all to forestall inevitable decomposition.
We further distance ourselves from death by referring to it as
"passing on", "sleep", or "going on a
trip". We have become frightened of an event that is a natural
part of the cycle of life, something that happens to 70 million people
around the world every year and will one day happen to us.
Dying does not have to be a frightening and agonizing event.
Instead dying can become a time of healing and peace, as we learn this
from the dying themselves.
In their work with the dying, Cicely Saunders and Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
commented on the eventual peace experienced by many of those who were
dying. One of Dr. Kubler-Ross' patients described dying as a
sometimes happy experience, saying he was amazed he could feel such a
thing. He was grateful for several meaningful changes that occurred
as a result of his illness - a closer relationship with his son and
his wife's increasing strength and independence.
In "The Moment of Truth" Dr. Saunders describes a patient
who looked at her and said, "You know, doctor, I couldn't ever really
imagine myself dying, but there does come a time when you are ready to
lay it down." Saunders says she is continually reminded of
the "always uncanny moment when the body, which even in confusion
and pain expresses the person, is suddenly empty." Dr.
Saunders believes the mind and body are "absolutely interwoven,
but appear to be no more than the tools of the spirit, which is of
much more importance. The spirit seems to lay down the body and
the mind when death finally comes."
The work of Dr. Saunders and Dr. Kubler-Ross, and the continued
growth of hospice programs with their emphasis on a "pain-free
and appropriate death," are slowly producing a cultural change in
the way we view death. We are becoming aware that death can be a
time of personal growth and emotional spiritual healing.
|
